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Editor's Last Word
Be careful how you teach
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Paul Ramsdell
Editor |
It's one of the most difficult tightrope walks in life - trying to teach a son or daughter to play, and more importantly, enjoy golf.
Jim McLean, a world-renown golf instructor, knows it all. He has two sons playing college golf.
"It's hard as a parent to know what the right thing is, because there is a little bit of pushing, but it's a fine line, and a lot of parents go way over that fine line, and really push hard," McLean said as he was watching his son, Jon, play in the Sahalee Players Championship.
"Some parents push way too hard, like anything else," he said. "I've seen that a lot where the kids will end up quitting the game as soon as they can make a choice for themselves, even though they are very good."
There are various examples all the time in the headlines. B.J. Wie is criticized for his handling of daughter Michelle. PGA Tour player Sean O'Hair is lauded for being able to survive the difficult times under the wing of his father, Marc O'Hair.
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Jim and Justine McLean, with son Jon at Sahalee. Photo by Bill Chan. |
"The father-son relationship, or the father-daughter relationship, you don't want to ruin that because of golf, which can easily happen," McLean said.
"A lot of parents use Tiger as a model," he said. "I think they think Mr. Woods forced him to play golf, but that's not how he did it."
The best way is to provide the equipment and opportunity, and then offer suggestions pretty much only when asked.
"You always want to get a teacher who makes the game fun," said McLean, whose Jim McLean Golf Schools are held throughout the country as he coaches some of the top tour players in the world.
"If you can get your kids into some kind of clinics, or opportunities where they can play with kids their own age, it's great. That's really good."
It's easy to say that McLean knows what he's talking about, with one son, Matt, on a golf scholarship at Wake Forest, and the other, Jon, heading into his freshman year at Texas Christian after his third-place finish at the Sahalee Players Championship. But Jim knows all about walking that tightrope as a parent, and sometimes falling off. Even during just a friendly outing with his two sons he has to be careful.
"If I would say something, it could ruin the day. I could ruin the day by teaching," he said. "I've been guilty of that too."
And then competitive golf takes the tightrope to a whole new level.
"I try to be real careful after a round," said McLean, whose competitive career as a junior growing up in Seattle was worthy a spot in the Pacific Northwest Golf Association's Hall of Fame. "There's a time after a round, in any sport but certainly in golf, before you start telling them, 'Why didn't you do this? Or why didn't you do that?' Golf is a very easy game from the sidelines."
Patience is the key.
"It's a game of corrections and errors, and those things happen," McLean said about the learning process.
It's a tightrope, but when successfully maneuvered the rewards can be incredible for everyone involved.
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